CONTROL YOUR EGO CONTROL YOUR LIFE
Achieving anything in life by getting rid of your ego.
All of us have pride. Complicates our life PRIDE makes our personality are artificial and hypocritical. The more humble we become everything falls into place. The day true humbleness comes that very day the soul will become God-realized. In the Bhagavat Gita: Lord Krishna has declared, Arjun, I am (samadarshi) equitable towards everybody. Nobody is particularly dear to Me nor am I hateful towards anyone. But the same Lord, Naradji is saying, hates one thing and loves another thing. What is it that He hates? It is the ego, the pride. And what does He love? Humbleness. This pride is extremely ugly. Even in the world all the fights that happen are because of pride.
There is a book “What they don’t teach you at HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL”. It was very famous in the 1980s this book. There he (author) writes that most executives are a ball of ego with hands and feet sticking out. That is the reality of the matter and that is the cause of all tensions and anxieties. About a few decades ago some educationalists in America, they launched the self-esteem movement. There proposition was that if people have good self-esteem, then naturally they do well in life. So, the goal of the teachers and the parents became to boost the self-esteem of the children. And hence, nobody was allowed to be failed whether do well or they don’t, they will keep getting promoted. They were creating these people who were coming students who were graduating from the education system with bloated self-esteem thinking that this is good for them. But unfortunately, the world does not support their own view. And when they came in touch with the world, that self-esteem was pricked and then they were in all kinds of trouble. So, the self-esteem movement was stopped, but remnants of it are still there.
If you read all these self-help books in American coaching circles, they will tell you, you need to have a healthy self-esteem. And that is why people keep saying, “We have to have a healthy self-esteem?” What self-esteem do we have to have? We are the tiny little parts of God. Any kind of self-esteem is a lie. It is falsehood. The real self-esteem is I am a servant of God. That is the self-esteem of Hanuman. He says that I am proud to be the servant of the Supreme Lord. I am proud about that. This humbleness, the more we develop the healthier our personality will become.
You know, some people have an inferiority complex. Where does it come from? A desire to be superior that is not getting fulfilled resulting in an inferiority complex. And if you destroy the pride, who am I what is there to be proud about, all the inferiority complex will also finish. Now, stage fright is considered the biggest fear in the world after death, right? But if you get to the root of it, the analyse why does this come, it is all pride. What will the others be thinking about me? So, what I wish to say is that pride complicates our life, it makes our personality artificial and hypocritical. And the more humble we become everything falls into place.
Most importantly we attract the grace of God. That is why this word ego is an acronym- Edging God Out. Why is the ego coming? When we are forgetting God.
A firefly (the jugnoo) can have pride, ‘Ohh look, I am light creating creature.’ It can be proud of it. But when the Sun rises, can jugnoo be proud any longer? Of course not. It is only in the absence of the Sun that the firefly can thing yes, I am something. In the same way, we make one house and say, मैंने भी क्या कमाल कर दिया (I have done the great thing). That’s because we forget that Brahmaji make the whole world and Maha-Vishnu manifests infinite universes. If we bring the greatness of God to our mind, we have absolutely nothing to be proud about. So, pride means forgetting God and that is why God dislikes it. Moment pride enters His grace disappears. That is why Saint Kabir said, When, “I” was there, then God was not present. Now God is present, the “I” has disappeared. The street of Divine Love is very narrow. Only one personality will remain there, either keep the “I” or keep Bhagwan (The God).
The pride is of two things primarily. What I have, although we don’t have anything but whatever it is our intellect in the material state is making a big deal out of it. The basic things that cause pride, youvanam- yuva avastha (Youth). In youth it’s natural to feel proud. At the age of 16 even a gaadhi, the female donkey thinks she is an apsara. And the gadha thinks he is kamdev. In youth if somebody is proud, it is understandable. But that kind of pride doesn’t last too long because after you get married children come into your world, then the pride starts getting worn off and when you grow old and the back gets bent, then naturally pride disappears. So, in old age to go in the direction of God is natural. But if somebody in youth is going towards in the spiritual path, that is highly creditable. That person has got very strong sanskars (discipline) from the past. Youvanam (youth), dhan (wealth), probhutva, some kind of mastery over some skill, or some knowledge they all cause intoxication. We don’t realize it, but all of us have pride. You see the pride resides in the intellect. So, the intellect is unable to know that, I have pride. It is only the Guru who can understand this pride is causing the problem. On a lighter side, I have heard of this elephant who was going by and a mouse saw the elephant he said, “Mr. Elephant, can you please step aside?” He called it aside from the herd. The elephant came and asked the mouse,” What is the matter?” The mouse said, “I have lost my short pants. I want to know if you are wearing them.” That is pride. You will say this mouse was totally crazy. But such is the state of the human intellect in the mayadheen avastha, in this material bondage, we all have our pride of little, little things and the second is the pride of doer-ship. You do something and become proud of it.
There is a story that one man of Greece, he went to Socrates and he was talking about the big house that he had made. So, Socrates got a map of Greece and he said, “In this map where is the city where you live in?” In the map the city was a little dot. In that where is your colony? The colony was obviously a dot within the dot. And in that colony where is your house? That is a dot within the dots, within the dots. Is that what you are proud of? So, this pride that I am the doer and I am like this. The humble thoughts are the reverse of this. O’ Shri Krishna, whatever I did, I did not do it, you enabled me to do it because you are the source of the power. And the enjoyer of the fruits of this work is also you. We need to repeatedly practice these humble sentiments. Now you ask yourself do I have pride? And you will get the answer, no, I don’t have. Whom did you ask? I ask my intellect. Intellect said, of course not. You see, the intellect will not be able to figure this one out. You will have to ask the Saints and the scriptures.
Once, the Mohammedan Badshah Akbar was on his elephant touring his city of Delhi. A drunkard was standing by the side of the road. The drunkard looked at the king on his elephant he said, “Kyu be hatthi bechega?” Hey you, will you sell me your elephant? Akbar was indignant. Gross insult. One of his citizens asking whether he will sell the elephant? Akbar told Birbal, let this person be brought to my court tomorrow. Now that drunkard came back to his senses and he realized he was done for. He went to Birabal and said, “O wise Minister, please help me save my life.” Birbal taught him a strategy. The next day when this drunkard came to the king’s court, Akbar said, “You asked me, if I will sell my elephant to you?” That drunkard said, Huzzur, how could I ever say such a thing? You are badshah-salamat, I am an ordinary person. I don’t even have money to buy an elephant. And if I had, why would I buy from you, I would go and buy from the market.” Akbar said, “I heard somebody say it. If it was not you, then who was it?” The man said, “Huzur, I know who it was? I will bring him to your court tomorrow.” Akbar said, “All right.” That person went home and came back the next day with the bottle of alcohol in his hand. He came and placed it on the table. Akbar said, “What nonsense is this?” He said, “Huzur, this bottle said it.” What do you mean? “I mean at that time I was intoxicated. So, my intellect had gotten destroyed because of the alcohol. I did not know what I was saying. Now that, that intoxication has disappeared I am back to my senses. If you wish to punish anybody, punish the intoxication.” Akbar had a hearty laugh and he forgave this person. But the same is the pride. We are all intoxicated in it and we don’t realize that the pride is the number one obstacle on this spiritual path. It is what is preventing us from speedy progress.